Endess Autumn
Day 4
Miss some of Endless Autumn? No worries!
Catch Up Here!
Also, sharing is caring on the Community Page!
Day 4 At A Glance :
1) Day 4 Welcome video
2) Tim & his mom chat Mother Pain
3) Tim & Paul chat w Jenny & Liz
4) Merch Spotlight
5) Demos
6) Journaling prompt
7) Mother Pain tracking in the Studio
Today is intense but so important and meaningful to us! Warning, many tears were shed in the making of this video.
We're talking about Mother Pain, a song I (Tim) started during a very tumultuous period during the pandemic when my mom, having lost her 2 parents in quick succession, slipped into a deep, all-encompassing depressive episode that lasted 8 or 9 months. I, meanwhile, had just moved back into my childhood neighborhood down the street from my folks with Jenny (freshly postpartum) and 2 kids under 2. As I tried and failed to help my mom, as I struggled along myself, I started this song as a coping mechanism and sent it to Paul (demo below)... I was in pain, and I wanted my mom to see I was hurting. I wanted her to do the "motherly" thing: to take my pain away...
What happened next was truly so inspirational and eye opening for me : she started getting better one day at a time by bravely opening the door to the things that hurt. Pain the teacher. Pain the leader. Pain the mother.
I learned so much about my mom, myself, and motherhood in general...
That she was down to sit down and chat this out is evidence of how brave and strong she is. This is so courageous of her. Hats off to you, Kath, and if her bravery finds you in a moment of need, please reach out and share! She'll be thrilled to hear it. Here's my chat with her :
As we all went through and healed through this together, having had so many conversations with SO many mothers in my life, it occurred to me that maybe we're all holding onto our own Mother Pain. I honestly and erroneously thought a mom's actual job is to hold the pain for others, so I bet others feel that too. I bet a lot of moms out there think it's their job to just keep it.
Mother or not, we all have mothers, we're all surrounded by mothers, we all have complicated relationships with maternity. So I just pressed record on the camera and sprung this chat on Liz and Jenny (both mothers) when we were all hanging out.
TBH we did this BEFORE I captured the chat with my mom. We were all chilling on Nantucket for a gig and the whole thing was so spur the moment, without a thought... In hindsight, I truly wish I didn't have a beer in my hand for this chat. That's not a good look.
In any case... it's real...
Merch Spotlight
Moonlight on the Water Hoodie
This garment designed by Juan Pilar invokes the opening lyrics of mother :
"Thinking bout what I said, does it matter what I said?
Like how moonlight on the water doesn't change the temperature."
We wanted the shape and the relationship between the moon and the water to be like a mother and child. Two life forces intertwined and curled towards each other.
Demos
Journaling Prompt
Explore your own Mother Pain.
I didn’t realize until writing this song that pain is the great teacher and a mother figure, if we let her be. It's scary, but healing can't begin and light can't shine in until the pain is allowed to do her thing. Process whatever pain crops up for you as you hear this chat. It doesn't have to pertain to you being or having a mother… it can be any pain.
Perhaps it’s only after we go to and through the pain that we can heal.